Sunday, April 1, 2007 − Shift in Strategy

When I set off on my 15 month journey, actually it was a year before in the planning stages, I felt I just wanted to get out and make art. I didn't care if there was an audience, sort of like doing stealth art. I also didn't care if there were other artist because they sometimes they bring a level of baggage I can't deal with. I just wanted to make art, alone. Well, I got that and more, I got isolation. I wasn't isolated in the mountains surrounded by trees and a rolling brook. I was isolated from society. It was here that I realized I wanted to be around people who were interested in what I was doing, and I in them. After I found myself in the company of artists, I found them inspiring me to make more art versus wallowing in doubt, blocked. Then after my show, I realized also that it is no fun to show your work to people who aren't interested. So, I was all excited to be going to Hanoi, Vietnam to a real artist residency program, Campus Hanoi, but alas that is not to happen since they have closed.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 − Hanoi Part I

I was to be in Hanoi for one week with Christina before we ventured off to the Philippines. Hanoi is great. It reminds me of New Orleans. The food is good, western food is too plentiful and who doesn't love Vietnamese coffee? In that one week, coincidentally, there were two art openings. I met a bunch of artists and expats. That was cool. So, I decided that I was going to come back. We saw some of the sites. Same deal, not that interested. There seems to be a greater interest in art here. There are a million galleries that cater to tourists but there is also a real art scene here. I believe the New York Times recently wrote an article about Hanoi. Stayed for a week and then went to the Philippines.

Thursday, April 5, 2007 − Alan's Story

While in Hanoi, I had a meeting at 11am which was postponed until 11:15am, so I stopped at little shops along the way. Now I started to run a bit late, so I headed across the super busy intersection filled with hundreds of speeding motorcycles and a couple of cars. An older white man in surprisingly good shape was trying also to cross that busy street, so I buddied up with him figuring no scooter would hit two people. I then turned to him and told him that I used him as a human shield. He laughed and we started to chat for a moment about the traffic and then he told me he was lost, and had been for nearly 5 hours. He was up early and being athletic he decided to go to the lake for a little run, and bit of badminton with the locals. He had no key, no money and more importantly he forgot to grab the business card of the hotel he was staying. He was sweeping the winding streets searching for his hotel. I could see he was getting panicky. Who wouldn't be? I told him of my few close calls and suggested he search the internet and contact his travel agent. He looked at me blankly and I immediately understood that this elderly gentleman, who turned out to be 71 and Australian, had no idea how to use the internet. So, I told him I would help him but first I needed to make it to my appointment with a Swedish artist. So, we walked to our meeting place at the Swede's hotel, and thankfully he was late. So, we sat down and started to search the internet. Very quickly we found his travel agent, a really huge company in Australia called Harvey's but I couldn't figure out how to call them on my Vietnamese cell phone. Internationally calling is really a bitch. I then had the hotel call for me but they wanted to know area codes, and country codes which he didn't know. I looked them up on the net but still the calls wouldn't go through. We also tried to call the Australian embassy but only got voicemail. So, I tried a new strategy, I emailed everybody on the Harvey's contact list. I received email back saying they couldn't locate his reservation and they needed to know which office it was booked. Jonas, the Swede showed up so we all went for coffee at a tiny little street café with miniature chairs. Alan turned out to be a bricklayer, which explained a 71 year old man with huge arm muscles. Jonas and I talked a bit about art which Alan seemed to enjoy. Then the three of us diverted into a conversation about global warming and the deforestation of the world. Alan was not just what he appeared. Jonas took his leave and Alan went to find yet one more internet café. I checked my email and found out that my emails had been forwarded to his booking agent but as of yet, no response. We tried the embassy a few more times, and left a few more messages. I took it upon myself to do a little bit more of the calling because as a person having lived in New York for ten years I feel capable of being a little pushy, especially since this was a real emergency. Well, that and the fact that I was fearful that Alan was on the verge of tears, as I certainly would've been. I tried to paint a picture of a desperate old man which certainly not the case but I wanted these people to get back to me ASAP. Now, I was hungry, it was 2pm and still no information. I insisted on lunch as much for me as for him, he was looking a bit peaked and I was afraid he might be a diabetic at his age. We ate and used a very filthy restroom at a tiny restaurant. The embassy tried to call but the call kept getting dropped and then the network was down all together. I hustled him out of there to find internet again, and hoping to also use the phone. Alan a good deal of the time was chatting, sort of that nervous chatter filling the air so as to not panic. I tried to smile and be attentive but quite frankly I was getting a bit frazzled myself and had to concentrate to find internet access and not be hit by a speeding motorcycle. Finally, we found one with working access, so I got online and told Alan to see if he could use the phone to call the embassy. He called, but again got only voicemail. I found no email in my main box and so sent another very desperate email. I decided to check another email box just in case. Thankfully there was an email. It had the name of the hotel and address, hurray! I think Alan and I both felt it wasn't over until he was safely in the arms of his tour group leader, or his girlfriend. We were only a few blocks away and off we went. Ten minutes later we were there. He would've walked right by it had I not seen the name. No wonder he didn't find it in his morning's wanderings. In we walked, I think we both expected the group to be sitting and waiting for him since it was now 3 pm and they left on a overnight train to Saigon at 6pm but the place was empty. So, we walked up to his room. It was locked and empty. At this point, I stayed with him partly out of curiosity to see the happy reunion but also to be certain that he was going to be reunited with the group. An older man with no money should not be left on his own in a foreign country. He was I am sure very capable in Australia but here he seemed to be a quite a loss to get himself out of this predicament. We then went back down to the desk to get the key so that he could see if the luggage was still there. When he asked for the key and pointed at his name on the list, the clerk said "you are lost." Not anymore. She alerted the tour leader in the other room who came out a happy man. Everyone was relieved but I was hoping for joy. He told us the police had been alerted - ah the police, it never occurred to me to call the police. My only regrets are that I didn't get a picture nor to get to see him reunited with his girlfriend who was at that moment at the lake searching for him.

Sunday, April 22, 2007 − Hanoi Part II

I am back in Hanoi. My arrival was fraught with problems, again. In spite of making reservations via a confirmed email, the hotel Nam Phoung had no room for me. So, at 9pm at night I was searching for a hotel. I found one. Next day I found a hotel for $6 per night. It is a bit of a dump but clean enough. I am on the 5th floor which means I have a window and privacy.

I've met some nice people. I hope to get a social life together soon.

Today I went to a lecture about the political structure of Hanoi. That was really interesting. Basically, the deal is that the elections are fake and the power structure is a bit of a mystery, even to the Vietnamese citizens. It seems that the people have no voice what so ever. I will withhold the name of the teacher since it seems that it isn’t necessarily safe for them to be teaching this class.

Friday, April 27, 2007 − Hanoi Hotels

I have a few hotel suggestions in Hanoi's Old Quarter.

Nam Phuong
16 Bao Khanh Street
kts.hotelsandtravel@gmail.com
84-4-9285085
Price: $18
Small, nice hotel. Friendly staff. BUT they don't seem to remember reservations, particularly via email. So, don't bother to make them. Free roll and coffee, for breakfast, and internet.

Prince 57
57 Hang Be
info@goldenlandtours.com, www.goldenlandtours.com
84-4-926-1554
Price: $6
A bit of a dump, but cheap and nice staff. It was pretty clean the first few nights but suddenly has gone downhill. Management took a vacation? Café food is good. Free internet. Refrigerator in room. Hot water. Air con for $2 more per night.

The next hotels I have not stayed in but seem nice enough.

Bam Boo Hotel
85 Hang Bac
tnktravel@vnn.vn, www.tnktravel.com
84-4-926-2378
Price: $16

Sports Hotel
96 Hang Bac
sportshotel96hn@yahoo.com
84-4-926-0154
Price: $14

HaLong Star Hotel 1
16 Hang Bac
halongstarhotel_1@yahoo.com
84-4-926-3073
Price: $12

Tuesday, May 1, 2007 − Oy Vey Visa Problems

Everywhere I go, I have visa problems. When I went to Thailand, I was told "just get a tourist visa" and so I did but on a tourist visa you can only stay for 3 months and then you have to leave for 3 months. By shear luck, I got a 2 entry visa which meant I could stay for 2 3-month periods.

Now in Vietnam I am having problems again. I was again told to get a tourist visa so I got a C1 tourist visa which is good for 1 month in Chiang Mai but then I only stayed for a week before I went to the Philippines. I then had to get a new visa in Manila but waited until the last moment since we immediately headed to the hills. So, I then could only get a D tourist visa for 2 weeks. Now that I am in Hanoi, immigration tells me that I can get a 1 month tourist visa but it is very likely it won't be renewed because the D class visa means they don't like you. This I found out by bringing a Vietnamese guy, Tuan, with me.

Let me digress and tell you about Tuan. I met him and a western fellow named Sean at a restaurant called Little Hanoi. I struck up a conversation with Tuan while Sean was in the bathroom. Sean said that if I needed help finding an apartment or starting a business Tuan could help. So I got his number. After one day of trying to get a visa on my own, and getting multiple answers, I decided to contact Tuan for assistance. So, today we were going to meet at 2pm but at 9:15 he called and said to meet him. So, I did and then together we visited immigration. This is when I found out that class D means they hate you.

Now let me tell you a little bit about Sean, he is a white guy from somewhere in Europe but I haven't determined where. He is very forthcoming with connections. He suggested Tuan help me. He has given me names of club owners who can hook me into the party scene. He has given me names of artists and places to go. He also has suggestion business that would thrive in Hanoi.

Back to the visa issue, my hotels travel agency, all hotels here have them, claims they can get me a 6 month tourist visa for $200. True? Who knows. I talked to Tuan, and he says no and that I will lose my money. I talked to Marcus, the only other American that I know, says it is true and I should do it. At this point, I am so frustrated that I am ready to pack my bags and go to Cambodia.

Sunday, May 6, 2007 − Apartment

Visa problems solved but now it would be nice if I had a better place to stay besides this cheap hotel: $6 per night. It's cheap and it's a dump but I can't really complain. So, so far I went to see a place where the ex-manager of campus and a couple of other young expats live. The place is nice enough, and certainly large enough but it is out from the center of town and that is the problem. Every time I wanted to eat, or have a coffee or see people besides Marcus, I would have to get on a scooter (which I'd have to buy) and drive into town. It was $150-200 per month. The second place I saw was also out side of the center of town. It was the room of a friend's friend which he wasn't using. I could essentially stay for free but pay the utilities but again it was outside of city center. Today, I went and saw a place with Tuan. I told him before what my budget was but tonight we met up and he kept talking about $450 a month or less. And I was like that's too much. And I told him for that price I could get a western style apartment with all the amenities. Turns out he had a place lined up and so we went to see. It was strange. Let me try to describe it. The neighborhood was fine. Just outside the Old Quarter. The first floor of the place was a store that the old guy owner had turned into a café, I think very recently but wasn't getting enough business. So, we sat down with the owner, and he gave us glasses of water (it's a café and you give us only water?) Tuan kept saying it's nice right. And what could I say. Sure. I had only seen the first floor. So, Tuan right away starts talking about them making the arrangements with the government officials for a foreigner to live there. And then I was like, "uh, can I see the rest of the place". So up I went with the son. The second floor was kitchen and bathroom - one room. No separation. Oh, and tiny. About 5x7, maybe. Then up to the third floor which was a bookshelf and a mat for sleeping. Then up to the fourth floor, which was just mat for sleeping. Clothes where hung from random hooks and such all the way up. Then up to the roof which was also tiny - obviously. The stairs going up was basically a sturdy ladder. A little treacherous, but I have been on worse. The thing that flipped me out the most was the fact that they want "up to $450". When Tuan started again pushing me on it, I said we have to talk. So, we left and I told him straight up it was too expensive and that I could get a western style place for the same price. I am a little annoyed that he tried to get me to go into such a tiny place for such a huge price. I think basically the old man is in a very tight spot and they want me to rent it for a few months and then they will go stay with friends or relatives while I stay there. Nuts really. Coincidentally I met a young German woman who had a place which she was giving up in June. It was $250. So, I guess I will go see it very very soon. Well, this certainly is turning out to be a bit of an adventure.

Monday, May 7, 2007 − Apartment Continued

I got a lead on an apartment near the Old Quarter. An older Vietnamese woman artist has a house she renovated and wants to rent out the two bedrooms to artists. It is near the Hilton Hotel and the opera house. The place is still being renovated but so far it is looking pretty posh. First floor is going to be like a living room. Second and Third floors are bedrooms and the 4th floor is a kitchen, which I haven't seen yet nor the roof top terrace. About the only thing I can talk about is the bedroom with is very large and has its own bathroom - a posh western-ish bathroom with a small Jacuzzi style tub! How long has it been since I had a tub - well a nice one that I would actually sit in. The floors are wood and being redone. My main concerns are that it smells like varnish and paint, and the neighborhood which is not so great for me. Not bad but not great. But it is huge, maybe too huge, I might be afraid to be alone there. I think it will be all inclusive, and furnished, for $250, but the owner is rich so I might be able to get it for less.

I saw another place today, around the corner from where I am now i.e. in the Old Quarter, tourist central. The place is a funky Vietnamese apartment. It is based around an open courtyard, with a roof top terrace. There is a large bedroom, with a bit of water seepage on one wall, a kitchen that is basically open air and a small bedroom. The drawbacks are that it is funky, not furnished, no refrigerator and not available until June. It is also $250 plus about $25 in utilities. I could get a roommate if I wanted. But I love the open air feel and furnishings, including refrigerator, won't be too much. But because the open air thing, it doesn't feel secure necessarily. However it is funky in that way I love. I guess no one in Hanoi will rent for a period less than 6 months which is a problem since I only need it for 3. A Vietnamese artist used to live there, and may be coming back about the time I will be leaving which could work to my advantage. If we can get the original artist guy to say he will come back in September, then it will probably be ok, otherwise, probably not. Also, if he is going to come back there is a tiny bit of furniture and furnishings that I would guess would stay.

The current resident is to contact the original resident, then the landlord. We shall see.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 − Vietnamese Lessons

I was here almost a month before I got my act together to Vietnamese lessons. I went to the school in the History Museum but I found them to be very unhelpful and strange. I really had wanted to get into a class so that I could also meet other people like myself. They didn't provide classes so I didn't see any advantage to using them. I saw signs up for Vietnamese Teaching Group. I contacted them and their rate was the same as all others, $6 per hour. So, they sent out someone the very next day. I knew something was up when I had to insist upon giving them my hotel address so the teacher could find me the next day. The organization has turned out to be very unprofessional. My teacher is like 20 years old, and probably still in college. I like her but for the rate I am paying, I should get an experienced teacher. The manual that I was given has grammatical and typographical errors in it. One lesson is devoted to being able to ask someone what country they are from. Why would I ask someone in Vietnamese what country they are from? Wouldn't I just ask them in English? I will only be speaking Vietnamese to Vietnamese. Presumably, they will all be telling me they are from Vietnam. So, I really only need to be able to say Vietnam and American in Vietnamese. I still have not paid them. They have not called. I do not even know how to pay them. Very unprofessional. Avoid these people.

Friday, May 25, 2007 − Things that Don't Change

For those of you who know me, you will not be surprised to hear that one night here in Hanoi while walking home in an isolated area, we happened upon 3 people arguing: 2 young men and 1 young woman. The woman was between the 2 men and one of them pushed her. Well, what do you think I did? I step up and yelled at them in English of course. This broke it up and they then ignored me. For some reason, I thought I was over this. I thought that I no longer did things like this? I thought I was a changed woman, although I am not sure why, and now followed the creed live and let live. Apparently, some things never change.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007 − Frustration in Vietnam

Long time expats in Hanoi talk about Vietnam being frustrating to live in. Besides every single person you meet here either wanting something from you or trying to rip you off, that hadn't been my experience. Until now. I am trying to get an international post office (international for us foreigners). They said 5 days. They said Tuesday. Now they say maybe 20 days, and maybe not at all. I have managed to really piss them off because I dared to show up and ask. The clerk was totally yelling at my little 20 year old tutor. I think now the answer is maybe not all. I better find a plan B.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 − Now I have seen it all

Now I have seen it all. An Arena computer game competition is being broadcast on a Korean station, Arirang. It is one of those networked killing games. Quite an old one if I remember correctly. It has come a long way from my grad school days. I can not believe they are broadcasting it. There are two announces analyzing the game as if it is a football game or something. Shocking really. Now the game announcers are on screen. They are wearing paramilitary garb. They also speak perfect English with out an accent, way better than the news announcers. What is going on? I can't believe it. I wish I could capture this for you to see.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 − Acupuncture

Today, I went to see an acupuncturist who came highly recommended. I have wanted to try acupuncture for a long time, and I generally believe it has healing ability. I find myself to be suspicious of this particular "doctor" because she took out a diagram to remember the spots on my stomach that pertain to certain parts of my body. It was a little weird although it is possible that she was referred to the diagram not for the information per se but the English translation. Let's hope that it is the case. I left there feeling a little sleepy but now at 10pm, I am totally ready to go do something. Bored. Want to go out and drink some beer, or shopping, something.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 − Typical Day in Hanoi

Today is a typical day for me in Hanoi, although it really could be any day anywhere in which I am not working a regular job. I woke up at 9:30am. Laid in bed for awhile. Got up and did my laundry. In my new apartment in Hanoi, that means that on my rooftop terrace I put it in a bucket with soap and washed and rinsed three "loads": lights, colors and darks. Then hung it up to dry. That took me nearly an hour. I then went to find a little something to eat and my "morning" coffee. I ended up walk a bit of a distance to a large market that has a lunch time buffet for less than a dollar. I rub elbows with the people. When I say rub elbows, I mean quite literally. If you aren't willing to be pushed and shoved a little bit, don't go. I feel like this is a side effect of long term shortages, although I like to think of this as a side effect of communism. They push a shove like there will not be enough and up until 10 years ago or so, that was indeed the case. That is not the case in the United States, although my parent's certainly remember a different time. For my whole life, there has always been enough of everything. I am not even one of those people will push to get a seat on the subway, nor the best shirt at a great sale. I just won't do it. I don't feel I need to nor that it is worth it. So, for lunch I had a big plate of rice, with miscellaneous vegetables and meat plus a glass of cooked spinach in it's water. I also picked up some balloons and tape. The balloons are to fill with water to throw at the cat that peed on my shoe! I walked back and went to my favorite café for Vietnamese coffee with sweetened condensed milk. Then checked my email at the crappy internet "café" that has nothing to do with café. I talked to a young couple who was traveling for a few months, of course she was from the Midwest. Now, hours later, I am home.

Saturday, June 30, 2007 − Paving the Way for Big Business

Here is the disclaimer: I am not an economist and all my experience has come from living in Hanoi's Old Quarter.

It is up to the consumer to know what is a fair price for an item. Conversely, pricing in the United State by and large for most products is based on wholesale purchase price, as well as supply and demand. I have no idea how they determine pricing here. I do know that a price of an item is based on your ethnicity, and some assumptions about what you will pay, and how much of an asshole you will be in the negotiation process. But the baseline price for the average person. What is it and how is it determined? I have no idea. I doubt anyone knows.

I hate this bullshit negotiating process. They will charge me more than double what the Vietnamese pay. To me, that seems unethical. I am fine with paying an extra 10% or 1,000VND but double or more is ridiculous: Unethical. The whole process leaves me bitter. So, when I can I will buy at the local convenience store where things have a price listed. I thought that this problem was because I am a foreigner but it turns out that they do the same thing to each other. Well, at least it isn't personal or based on some sort of hatred. On the other hand, it makes me think this behavior is even more unethical. My Vietnamese teacher also hates this process and prefers not to do it but we all have to. I think whole situation is really paving the way for big business. Given the opportunity I would gladly pay more at a supermarket with market prices than to go through the hassle of negotiating with these mean people. And I gather the Vietnamese feel the same way. So, if the Vietnamese government were to ever allow big business markets to come in here it would clean up. First, all the small farmers would go out of business because big business would come in find or create large suppliers of perishable products. Then they will establish a huge supermarket with marked and non-negotiable prices, a one-stop shop. That would be the end of the fresh market vendors.

Friday, July 6, 2007 − 4th of July at American Club

I took my 20 year old Vietnamese tutor to the 4th of July celebration at the American Club in Hanoi. She looks American, right? They had most of the American favorites and some not so favorite: hot dogs, chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, Budweiser, French fries, bbq chicken wings. Entertainment including a guy with a snake, and a band that was surprisingly good. They had a raffle which sadly we won not one thing. In some ways, it felt typically American except that the crowd was mostly Vietnamese, surprisingly. I guess all the Americans went home for the holiday, and to escape the heat or they too felt that $22 per person was a ridiculous amount to pony up.

Friday, July 13, 2007 − Perhaps It Is Time to Leave

Originally I was supposed to be in Hanoi April, May, and June. It is now July and I have an apartment through most of September. As you may remember I was originally to come for an artist residency program, Campus Hanoi which closed before I arrive. So, I have been living here largely unsupported. But, right now, I am so feed up with this godforsaken place that I am ready to leave now.

This morning my landlord called me. He asked me to go for beer (at 11AM). I repeatedly said no but I couldn't understand what he was talking about because I don't speak Vietnamese nor he Egnlish. I thought he need to get into the apartment. I was sitting at my favorite café drinking my favorite drink − Vietnamese coffee. I figured he was trying to tell me he would be by later. He called back a couple of minutes later, so I left to go let him in. He didn't want to get in. He wanted me to get a beer next door at the only brew pub in town and meet his friends. Well, after a few no's I acquiesced figuring that he wanted to show off the foreigner. So, one guy was totally fine but the other guy was some gross sleazy guy with gaudy jewelry making eyes at me. Well, needless to say I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I had half a beer and left. It was totally weird, and I felt the situation was less than safe.

Then tonight I went to an opening at Rygalla Gallery, the only alternative gallery in Hanoi. I emailed the director my idea and a week later he responded that he was too busy to meet, let's talk at the next opening, not a good sign. So, at the opening, I introduced myself and he said he was booked through the rest of the year, let's talk closer to when I leave. I said I leave in September and then I go to India. He asked when I come back and I said I didn't know because I had to go back and earn some money. He shrugged and basically walked away. I mean the guy wasn't even interested in the idea. Reminds me of when some scam art gallery in Midtown was interested in showing my work (and wielding money out of me) and then barely glanced at my slides when I went I met with them. I am sure it doesn't help that everyone thinks I was having an affair with some Viet Kieu artist. It is hard enough to get acceptance as a woman but whore has never been the best way.

My head hurts.

Monday, July 16, 2007 − Rats

I found rat poop in my bathroom. I am not happy. There was a trap in the apartment so I set it up. A no kill trap. I put a banana in it. The rat seems to not like bananas. I am not sure what I would do with it if I caught it. Pay someone to get rid of it I suppose. My stupid old landlord stopped by. Who knows why. At least he isn't asking me to go for beer. I told him I had a rat, and he's reaction just that the streets here are old and keep the bathroom door shut. Ridiculous, like rats don't carry disease. I am being rude partly because he is making a fortune on this apartment and partly because I am really annoyed about the whole beer thing. Stupid old man. As my mama used to say "There is no fool like an old fool." Damn I wish the fool would leave.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 − Hanoi Apartment

I have a new apartment which I think I have actually been in for a month which I can not believe. It is on the second floor. The 2 "bedrooms" are enclosed as well as the bathroom. The rest of the space is open air which gives it a nice feel but unfortunately it is open to cats and rats too. They seem to like it a lot. There is also a roof top terrace that is kind of cool. It's filled with plants that I have to water. The watering is both zen and drudgery. Here are the pictures.

Thursday, July 19, 2007 − Best Bread in Hanoi

I found the best bread in Hanoi. It is a bit expensive $1.25 for a small loaf but it is this nutty brown bread. Very yummy with just a bit of butter. It can be purchased at the Ngot Long Bakery at 66 Nguyen Huu Huan in Old Quarter.

Friday, July 20, 2007 − Karma of a Big Man

I must of been a really big mean M−er F−ing man in my past life. I certainly have the aggression of one but at 5ft 2in I don't have the means to back up my big mouth.

Again, I have to say that for those of you who know me, this will not come as a surprise. I almost got into a fist fight with a cyclo driver. Last Night at about 10 pm, late by Hanoi standards, I was walking by him and he grabbed my arm so I slapped his arm and he slapped mine back. So I raised my fist pretending like I was going to punch him and he raised his and started to get off his cyclo. I put my fist down and rolled my eyes and yelled at him. I went on my merry way and he came back to hassle me some more. I yelled at him some more and shook my finger at him and he kept making like he was going to punch me and get off his cyclo. I didn't bite. I didn't budge. I kept walking and yelling at him. He seems to have learned the phrase F… you, perhaps from me. Then he I was going straight through an intersection and he started to turn so he almost hit me. I stopped and let him go and continued to swear at him. Screaming at people is perfectly acceptable behavior here but from what I understand men touching women is not. I have to remind myself that this shit happens EVERY where. After watering the plants, I mediated for more than an hour. It seems to help but I still think I will have a restless night. I will keep mediation... om om om

Saturday, July 21, 2007 − Best WIFI Cafe in the Old Quarter Hanoi

My favorite internet cafe in the Old Quarter is a new one, Phuong Uyen Cafe on Luong Ngoc Quyen off of Ma May. They have excellent Wifi, and good cheap drinks. They also have a nice upstairs that is a lot quieter, and very private. Recently they started to serve crab rolls for 12,000VND.

Monday, July 23, 2007 − Communication: Drawings

I know you all think that I accomplished very little while in Chiang Mai, Thailand. But just to prove you wrong, I have posted some images that I worked on there. The techniques are the same as the rest of my 2D work but the content is different. The series is called Communication.
http://www.kkoller.com/communication.htm

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 − Nothing to Complain about

I have come up with at least 10 new art ideas since I have been in Hanoi. So, what right do I have to complain? Of course, none of them are simple, easy or straight forward and most, if not all, require technology which haven't really used since I was beaten down in grad school. I have really had a shift since I've been here. That shift actually happened fairly early on. A Thai artist, Joe, took me to galleries in Bangkok which started my thinking about specific spaces. For the past few years, I have been making site specific ephemeral sculptures. Prior to that, I was making 2D work. So when I found myself in specific gallery spaces, I had to think differently incorporating my current art interests. From that, installations enhanced by technology naturally flowed. Then, when I got to Hanoi, I found that I was still thinking in terms of installation indoors. In Chiang Mai, the amount of English language, I was exposed to was very limited so I was like a sponge just taking in the surroundings. However, in Hanoi, there are a number of places that offer lectures on various topics as well as art shows. Some of which had a sustainable architecture component. I found this to be reminder of my other interests which again pushed forth ideas. So, I am not making hardly any art right now. I am preparing proposals, and shooting video footage. In September, I go to India. There I will be in environment to make outdoor pieces again.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 − Being Ripped Off

I am so annoyed with being ripped off all the time that I actually buy very little here. I would totally buy a lot more if I wasn't always being ripped off. I would buy more things for my apartment. I would buy more gifts, which I still need to do anyhow. I would buy more fruit at the market and share my excess with my neighbors. Instead, I buy the bare minimum. I recently heard about a person living in apartment here in which the landlord was charging her $12 per month for water when it should be $2. What I can't figure out is why the landlord just doesn't charge and extra $10 per month? That is upfront and honest, this feels very dishonest. I also heard about another person who paid $5 for a ride that should've been $1. So, with these stories comes the fact that us foreigners end up walking instead of the hassle of taking a cyclo or taxi and being ripped off.

Saturday, July 28, 2007 − Cafe Trung − Egg Coffee

This is the most amazing drink made with whipped raw egg, sugar and coffee. They are exactly like Tom and Jerry's (probably only my sister will understand that reference) except they have coffee instead of rum. I understand that you can get Bird Flu from raw eggs, plus a whole bunch of other things but I ride Xe Oms so apparently I like to live dangerously.

Sunday, July 29, 2007 − Retreat at Chua Dinh Quan Pagoda

On the outskirts of Hanoi is quiet pagoda, Chua Dinh Quan. I think they are some how affiliated with Thich Nhat Han, and Plum Village but I am not sure. I went to their day long Buddhist retreat for the second time. It is a total trip. Very fun. The pagoda is run by nuns, and most of the participants are woman also. We start the day at 8am with songs with hand gestures in Vietnamese, and sometimes English. Then we do a bit of walking meditation that feels much more like a stroll through the garden. Sometimes this is followed by calisthenics. We then do mediation for a bit then a talk follows. But the talk seems to be more down to earth than some big lofty sermon. We then have lunch and then "deep relaxation" which really means a delightful nap in the heat of day. Siesta. Followed by meditation and then another discussion. I leave at that point. I take the bus out there which is very cool. It takes me past were the real people live. I love it. The first time I went I was a bit surprised and annoyed by the casualness of the day but the second time, it was really fun. It is a vacation day for sure. Although, watching and practice English with and bossing around the foreigner seems to really make their day. Not necessary great for me, but it certainly adds to the fun if I am in the proper mood. Fun. That is the only way I can describe the day.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007 − Lacquer Painting Classes in Hanoi

This morning I set off to see the Ho Chi Minh Museum. I went to the internet cafe to check my email and ran into one of my usual Xe Om drivers. He asked if I needed a ride and I said maybe but I needed to check my email. About 10 minutes later, he came in to say he would be back in 2 minutes. 20 minutes later I was I tired of pointless surfing while waiting for him, so I left and took a bus. I missed my stop. And started to walk back when I came upon something calling itself a lacquer museum. So, I walked in. It looked more like a gallery but the staff told me they offered lacquer classes. So, I asked if I could view one now and went up. Next thing I knew I was meeting interesting women and making a lacquer piece. What fortuitous transportation errors.

The place is called The Lacquer Tree, Cay Son, 22 Thuy Khue, Tay Ho, Hanoi, Vietnam. Each class is $10. No need to pre-register. www.thelacquertree.com. When I say class, I really mean workshop. They don't exactly teach as much as direct. You do a sketch, and show them what you want. They tell what to do, when. We learn by doing. I understand there are lacquer classes at the Hanoi Art School also but have no further information.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007 − My New Boyfriend

This is my new boyfriend. Ok, so he isn't really my boyfriend. He is my xe om driver, motorcycle taxi. But he makes a very good boyfriend. He drops me off and picks me up. He is never late. And we sit very close on the motorbike. No, I don't wrap my arms around him but maybe I should. FYI: This photograph has been HEAVILY photoshoped.

Friday, August 3, 2007 − What is this box from?

I find the design here to sometimes be a little unusual. What do you think was in this box? To find out the answer, email me your guesses.

Thursday, August 9, 2007 − Tom Cuc

A few hours outside of Hanoi, Tom Cuc is sometimes referred to the inland Halong Bay. It is really a lovely leisurely boat ride down a river which passes through 3 caves. The boats are rowed by local woman. Sometimes they use their feet. Of course, there is the numerous ploys to buy buy buy which can be wearing.

Monday, August 13, 2007 − Highway 4 Catfish Rolls

Highway 4 turned out to be one of my favorite restaurants. Two things I really enjoyed were the catfish rolls which had fried pieces of catfish with a little dill and mayonnaise rolled in rice paper and served with a brown sauce with wasabi. I will be dreaming about these for years to come. Perhaps it will be the driving force back to Hanoi. The second thing that I liked was their local herbal liqueurs. One can order a sampler platter.

Thursday, August 16, 2007 − Video Camera

Shortly after arriving in Hanoi, I decided that I wanted a video camera. As it turns out, technology in Vietnam is ridiculously expensive. To give you an example, a video camera that cost $1000 in the US, cost $2000 in Hanoi. I was asking everyone I knew about getting a video camera. Someone I knew, knew someone with a video camera that they didn't want. Someone gave it to them. They would sell it to me for "a little bit of nothing". I got the camera to look at. It turned out to be so old that I couldn't even get the manuals online. It wasn't for sale anywhere. "A little bit of nothing" turned out to be $400. After looking and researching for what felt like a very long time, someone in the States sent me an old one. I paid 100% tax on it luckily it was only worth $20.

Saturday, August 18, 2007 − Sua Chua Nep Cam

One of my favorite "foods" in Hanoi was Sua Chua Nep Cam which is black rice with yogurt, ice and a little sweetened coconut milk. Great as a meal substitute.

Saturday, September 1, 2007 − Hanoi

I am not sure I have given a description of Hanoi. It has an old congested feel with a busy street life. Everywhere you can get yummy Vietnamese coffee, fresh beer, and tea. There is plenty of street food available. It is also polluted by the innumerable motor scooters zipping around trying to run you over and a handful of cars.

Friday, September 7, 2007 − Banh Gio

At home in NYC, I find I am always bored with food, wanting something different constantly. But when living in these places far from home, I find something I like and eat it everyday. Banh Gio (pronounced Bang Zaw) was one of these dishes. They sell it on the street for about 3,000VND (20 cents). Made of cooked down rice, with a bit of pork and mushroom, it is wrapped in banana leaf and steamed. Sometimes for variety I eat it with a bit of soy or hot sauce.

Sunday, September 9, 2007 − Prices in Hanoi

Here is a list of sample prices in Hanoi.
$1 = 16,000VND
Raw Eggs: 14,000VND per 10
Can of Cold Soda at store: 10,000VND
Bananas: 5,000VND for a bunch
Small water on street: 4,000VND
Tea on street: 1,000VND'
Cheap t-shirt: 30,000VND
Medium backpacks: $15
Small canvas name brand bags: $5
Pineapple peeled and sliced: 10,000VND
Vietnamese Coffee: 8,000VND
Casual silk scarves: $3
Small art on paper: $1
Sport Sandals: $15
Vietnam hat: $2
Asian Ladies Fan: $1
Xe Om, Motorcycle taxi: 10,000-20,000VND
Cleaning Person: 50,000VND for half day

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 − My Favorite Places in Hanoi

The places I've liked the best in Hanoi are in guidebooks but there are certain things that I think make them worthwhile. My top two sights would be the Temple of Literature and right across the street, the Museum of Fine Arts. The Temple of Literature is amazing architecture and the size of it is impressive. I liked to imagine students of Confusiousism studying while wearing long robes. The Museum of Fine Arts is not all that spectacular in it's entirety but there are two things that I found worth a visit. Some of the Buddhist statues were very unique, at least to me and the lacquer painting from the 1950s are outstanding. I like lacquer because it has a beautiful rich quality to it. These particular paintings combine the traditional painting with contemporary motifs. I believe the contemporary artists in Vietnam shun lacquer, and see it as a thing they do for tourists. They all want to oil paint like the Western artists.

The last place is my favorite cafe. There are hundreds of cafes here in Hanoi, but my personal favorite is at the top of the T of Bang Be and Hang Bac. Staff is not very friendly but not rude either but the coffee is fresh and authentic. None of this instant coffee of the less popular cafes. The juices are watery but the coffee shouldn't be missed. Remember, this is Vietnamese coffee served with sweetened condensed milk.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 − Joyless shopping in Hanoi − buyer beware

Soon I will be leaving Hanoi for good. And I need to support the economy by buying some gifts. Shopping is supposed to be fun. Shouldn't we enjoy spending our money? Shopping in Hanoi is joyless. Joyless for the reasons I have complained about before: buyer beware, be very aware. But damn it I am going to enjoy spending money on things that when I get home I will wonder why I bought them and for whom. Instead of thinking of buying this for that person I am going to buy a bunch of things I like and if at some point I realize a friend would like it then I will have a present for them. I better get shopping.

Saturday, September 15, 2007 − Lacquer Pendants

For many years, I have been working on a series of abstracts on paper called Strength. I started out making them 6x9inches, then was making them 24x30. I tired of them and put them aside but I did want to find a way to put them into small pieces, that were more durable so that I could give them to people to carry around. I tried to do them in class. They actually were neat, tactile but glass to work with was not that enjoyable for me. So, I never really did them in spite of spending hundreds of dollars on the glass. Now, years later, while in Vietnam, I discovered lacquer. In Hanoi, there is a large art tourist trade. Artist will paint reproductions of everything from famous living Vietnamese artists to Renoir, and everything in between. They also make traditional like pieces for tourists to buy as mementos. I found some tiny lacquer pendants at one store and decided about a month and half before I left to make the strength series into lacquer pendants. The store worker quickly gave me the name and number of the artist, which was surprising since it would've been more like them to try to work a deal and take a piece of the pie. I contacted the artist via my 20 year old Vietnamese teacher. I ended up making a bunch of these pieces. It took nine toxic days. I paid the artist $75 for his time, the blank lacquer pieces and for materials. He would've done it for half that but I felt that it was important to value a fellow artist's time. I of course regretted it later when I tried to hire him to do some non-art project.

Monday, September 17, 2007 − Halong Bay

Everyone visiting Hanoi must take a trip to Halong Bay. I just happened to wait until the 11th hour to do it. I opted for the 2days and 1 night trip because the longer trips included physical exertion I didn't know I was up for such as kayaking, biking miles and then hiking. I also decided to pay $65 instead of hunting for $35. I decided I would rather pay more for the security of knowing that I was paying a high price. I used Kangaroo travel, the original one. The people were all good, who isn't for 2 days? Don't answer that. The food was fine, not outstanding but fine. Basically, the trip consisted of seeing the beautiful bay, and seeing a cave which was an excellent one. It had some corny name like surprising cave. Overall, a very pleasant trip.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 − Joyful Shopping

Today was the big shopping for cool things before I leave day. I was actually dreading it but it turned out well. I was looking at silk Vietnamese pants in route to Halong Bay but they were flawed and cost $20. So, I waited figuring that was the highest price anywhere in Hanoi. I found several places that had them here but I didn't want an Asian Print. I wanted something more neutral. I ended up finding some for $12. that was an acceptable price. I was also looking for some of the silk "wallets" because I thought they made inexpensive souvenirs. I went to a place that I had been into before because they were very hasslefree. It is around the block from my apartment and I made a special trip to that particular store to get them. I was told they were $2-$3 each. While there, a local woman was looking at them and I heard the saleperson tell her they were $1 each. So I picked up 3 plus, another more complicated one and asked how much and then told her that she told that woman 15,000 VND. So, she let me have them for 15,000VND and 35,000VND for the other, which I am sure was high but I was pleased at the cheap ones. The other clerk was a little irked at the low price and so the first salesperson told her that I ate Banh Gio every morning. That was good. I felt like a member of the neighborhood at that point. I also bought a few silk wraps for $6 each, and 2 wood bowls for $15. So far, a good shopping day.

Thursday, September 20, 2007 − Buddhism in Vietnam

Vietnam is supposed to be predominately Buddhist but I don't see it. Sure they have pagodas but only some people go, almost no one I talked with. It seems to me that they only go when in trouble, and not even out ritual because their ritual revolves around their ancestors not Buddha. I had a wonderful experience at Chua Dinh Quan Pagoda . They were wonderful but I had to anti-buddhist experiences otherwise. One day Cuc and I went to a temple far outside Hanoi to see two mummified monks. Cuc wanted to eat lunch with them to experience this vegetarian Buddhist food. So, she asked and we were told no because they didn't have enough food for us. The second incidence was at the aforementioned Thich Nhat Hanh pagoda in Hue. They had a little bookstore with a couple of his books in English, a rare find in Vietnam. They were bad photocopies which is what most books in Vietnam are. I asked how much. The response from the monk was $10. A ridiculous price. Maybe on the streets of Hanoi, I would pay $6, and only out of pity for the seller. This is Buddhism Vietnamese Style.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007 − Rules for Living Abroad

• Take language lessons immediately upon arrival. Also, get language software.
  
• Within the first month, go shopping. Buy cool things because in a few months you will no longer remember what was cool.
  
• Do touristy things early also. It will give you a reason to bum around the city.
  
• If lonely, go on a tour. You will get to meet English speaking people.
  

Thursday, September 27, 2007 − Hue

Hue is a town not far from Denang. There are plenty of things to see there. I however was not a fan. A lot hustlers, one whom got my cell phone. It is a fairly large spread out city. The hotels and food were cheap enough but for me Hue totally lacked charm.

I did go on one of the motorcycle tours arranged at that place recommended by Lonely Planet for which apparently I can not remember the name. It was fine but not as spectacular as Lonely Planet described. We went to the usual spots and I felt a bit rushed and annoyed because basically I felt like I was his photographer for a photo shoot. There was no time to explore or look around. My guide did take me to a Thich Nhat Hanh padoga where we got to see them doing the afternoon prayers.

Video Clip of Chanting Monks

Friday, September 28, 2007 − Hoi An

Hoi An is a small village on the otherside of Danang from Hue. It is totally worth the visit. It is a lovely little town. There are old buildings to see, shopping, good food, easy to get around, and many tailors to custom make your clothing.

I did get a pair of pants made for about $12. They unfortunately are only about as good as I would get off the rack. In other words, with my big disproportionate ass, they don't fit that well. So, I need to wear a belt. I would avoid this shop which is just a few doors down from the Minh A Guesthouse at 2 Nguyen Thai Hoc. Besides the ill fitting pants, I had other problems with them fixing a hole in a backpack and wondered if they had ever sewn before. (They sewed the whole pocket shut which rendered it useless.)

Sunday, September 30, 2007 − Hotels in Hoi An

I stayed at 3 hotels in Hoi An - 3 nights, 3 hotels. Don't ask. My first place was a guesthouse called Minh A, 2 Nguyen Thai Hoc, $9 per night, had 3 rooms in an old traditional house in the historic district. It was definitely funky as I had expected but after one night I had to go even though after living in Asia for almost a year at that point and having my standards deeply lowered. The door to my room was not properly hinged so that I had to use 2 hands to lift it when closing the heavy door which was very inconvenient when coming back with things in your hands. After arriving, I left my backpack on the floor while went out exploring. When I returned, I discovered a rat had ripped a huge hole in my bag to get to some unopened crackers. That wasn't enough to sending me packing. It was Vietnam and there are rats everywhere, including my apartment in Hanoi. The nightstand light didn't work. The TV remote batteries where dead. The armoire was filled with stuff from previous guests. The bathroom sink leaked profusely onto the floor. Even all those annoyances was not enough to drive me away. The last straw was when I crawled into bed that night and the sheets smelled like BO. That was when I knew I wouldn't be staying another night.

The place, Ha An, was $35. I was given a juice while I waited literally 10minutes for my room. I was escorted to my room which had all the well placed lights on. The bed and rugs had red flower petals on them. Additionally, there were vases of fresh flowers, a fruit basket, complimentary bottles of water, tea and coffee with a thermos of hot water, and ceramic teapot and cups. Of course the refrigerator stocked with snacks and drinks. An album of DVDs were in the room with a player. All of this was topped of with a fabulous breakfast buffet the next morning. Why on earth did I not stay another night? They were booked!

The place was An Huy Hotel, 30 Phan Boi Chou, was just down the street from Ha An. The design of the building and the furniture were on par with Ha An or maybe even surpassed. The was $25 or $30 but given the choice I would stay at Ha An any day. An Huy just missed the target, actually I am not sure they knew what the target was. My room was dusty; the floors felt chalky. The shower curtain was mildewed. The towels were a dingy grey and no hand towels or wash clothes provided. The multiple bottles of shampoo were half used. No attention to detail much less a basket of fruit or fresh flowers. The staff although pleasant, are just doing a job which apparently they would rather not. There is a dead feel to the place. No joy what so ever.

Really it is all about the details.

Friday, May 1, 2009 − Off Again - Hanoi Vietnam

I am sure you are all thinking "now what, now where is she going? She sure has the life." Well... I'm going to Vietnam, except this time it is no joy trip. It's for money. Having been back in NYC for a year, I have lost all hope of ever finding a job. Did you know the economy is bad? My on again off again work history coupled with a few years of experience in this and few years in that means many people are more desirable than myself. I have skills, honest, but I began to feel unemployable. One day about six weeks ago, it occurred to me that Vietnam has a similar school schedule as the U.S. and that they hire a lot of native English speakers to teach the kiddies in summer classes. I could commit to a summer, but not to a year as required in other places. I have commitment issues. That was on a Thursday or a Friday and by Monday I felt fairly certain I was going. As time passed my resolve became more certain, supported by getting a new passport in 4 days and a visa in 5. One of my few friends in Hanoi, was unfortunately leaving for the summer, a tradition upheld by most expats, to escape the oppressive heat. The good news was that her rooms would be free. An easy answer to housing. It was a unbearably frustrating year in which virtually nothing was working out, jobs feel through, not much to apply for, no interviews, failed attempts as creating an art program in Nepal. Add to that very little art making or showing, and of course dwindling savings. I was verging on suicide, okay, now I am lying for effect. I was in limbo, and unclear what to do, particularly for income. I had lost of ideas and projects but nothing seemed to take root until I hit on the idea of going to Vietnam. Not to be all touchy-feely but I can only explain it as it felt right. At first, I thought I would go to Vietnam for a few months, and then head to Cambodia, then southwest China and maybe over to Nepal. After a false start, with a subletter, I found someone who seemed good, except she only wanted it for 10 months. So 10 months seems, psychologically, a lot shorter than 1 year, I started to think differently. I was thinking of staying in Vietnam for the whole time. I had a mental shift. Long story short, I am probably going to Hanoi to teach English for the whole 10 months.

Sunday, May 3, 2009 − Hanoi Love It Hate It

Wow, can't believe I am back in Hanoi; so, familiar and yet so foreign to me. I really am going to miss being home where I can chat with everyone and order food anyway I want, well, I do live in NYC so let's say I can chat with most. My little Vietnamese friend, Cuc, picked me up at the airport. That was such a nice treat. After checking into the hotel, I went for a tiny walk, smelled the smells, dodged the scooters, bought some water and that was enough for me. Exhausted, I returned to the hotel, ate a snack and went to bed. It was 9pm. Awake again at 11pm, I took some melatonin and slept again until 3am. This time I was really awake. I read a book and watched the street life. A late night "snack bar" was opening up. This is truly a Vietnam phenomenon − one I truly don't understand. In the evenings, after dark, and in this case in the middle of the night, women set up snack bars: some sodas, snacks, often fruit and seeds. The customers, almost exclusively male and an occasional couple, sit, snack and chat. Honestly, I don't get it. I guess after a few drinks or after work, men stop and get something before heading home. Went back to sleep around 4am and woke after 6am. I stayed up figuring this is close to a normal hour plus I can get some of my favorite street foods at breakfast time. I get rice stuff from an ancient woman who was already ancient 2 years ago but doesn't seem older, older than ancient. Ran into my Xe Om driver (motorcycle taxi) from two years ago. Got his number. Had a Vietnamese coffee, bought a sim for my cellphone, then had another coffee. Got lost, for an hour, kept literally, going around in circles. Never found the lake, Hoan Kiem, which is a central landmark. Had the hotel's business card which after the incident with the Australian man a few years ago, see blog April 5, 2007 entry on http://www.kkoller.com/weblog/CatVietnamIndex.htm, I don't walk around without one which had a tiny partial map. Reminded me of the numerous times this happened to me on my last stay. I met my friend Maritta for lunch, saw what would be my new home for a few months. Then in a feeble attempt to say awake, I walked home from Tay Ho. On this hour long walk in the high afternoon heat, was flooded with thoughts about living in a foreign country without resources, financial and otherwise, and feelings of helplessness in a country I had little hope of ever speaking the language fluently. Frustrated and exhausted I returned to the hotel. OyVey, could I really live here?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009 − Transportation Reality

The reality of living in a foreign country is finally hitting home, in a big bad way. I am trying to determine my mode of transportation. I could buy a bike, or rent a scooter, or use the buses, or use taxis and Xe Oms, motorcycle taxis. I know ultimately I will end up with a combination but what should my primary transportation be? And the logistics are quite overwhelming when one can only say hello, please and thank you. Bicycles are cheap and convenient. People are used to bikes in traffic however 90% of vehicles on the road are scooters and dare I say that they are terrible scooter drivers. They just don't have the fundamentals of road rules. It's not like they know the rules and choose to break them, like in India. That is fine with me because at least then they are watching themselves. But here they just don't understand the basics like if everyone in Florida was driving scooters. Let me give you an example, I am walking across the street. My direction is clear. So I walk. Stopping when there is not enough space to continue forward, and like a good game of frogger, I occasionally have to step back a bit. I come to a point in which there is plenty of space for the next scooter to move around me so I continue but instead of speeding behind me, they clip me off in front. It just doesn't make any sense. It’s like these people have never been forced to take a driver's education in High School. (Total sarcasm – of course they have never taken driver's education.) Anyway, back to my original point which is I am trying to decide my mode of transportation. As just determined, the roads here are chaos and very dangerous for scooters. In college I had a moped which I loved and in Thailand I had been known to occasionally drive a scooter but the expat community is filled with accident stories. Of course I can ride the bus which is actually a good system but still it's the bus, slow and crowded, with people barfing. Taxis are not super cheap so it would probably cost me $5-10 a day. Xe oms are about half the price but then again I am on a scooter, in scooter traffic, the only difference between having my own and using a xe om is that they are presumably more experienced drivers. By the way, I have located 2 of my 3 favorite Xe Om drivers. What fun. Instant boyfriends. One of them however, the one already on my blog from before is looking a bit crappy and smelling a bit boozy. See August 1st entry on http://www.kkoller.com/weblog/CatVietnamIndex.htm So, regardless of which mode of transportation I select, there are logistic problems, most of which stem from the problem that I don't speak the language but also things like where do I get gas and park the thing.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 − Deodorant

You are not going to believe this but my last deodorant lasted more than 2 years which included living in Asia for 18 months. So, when I was preparing to come back I brought only a small travel size. I thought about buying an extra one, specifically an unscented because I thought it might be hard to find that but I didn't because I didn't want to be crazy over-preparer like last time. Of course the first day here, my deodorant fell off the container part. So, I went to get a new one. I figured I would have to go to an upscale type store but what I didn't know was that there are only 2 brands, it's a tiny bit expensive, and hard to find and sometimes even locked in cases. Don't worry people, I got some. This is exactly the type of thing that could drive you crazy when living in abroad: the unpredictability of what you can and cannot get.

Thursday, May 7, 2009 − Hoa Qua Dam

Have I mentioned that I really like Vietnamese food? One of my favorites is the fruit salad type thing called Hoa Qua Dam, chunks of tropical fruits with shaved ice, and coconut milk. Yummy, and a perfect hot weather food. There is even a street in the Old Quarter that has many of these shops that serve it exclusively. I went back to my favorite spot but as I sat there I didn't recognize the workers. In fact, they were really young and looked like prisoners of war. What is going on with that? Many of retail-y type places hire young people but like early 20s/late teens and often it seems like an extended family. These boys seemed wrong and very unhappy. So, next time I went to another place but you know it just wasn't as good.

Friday, May 8, 2009 − Vietnamese Buddha

The art museum here in Hanoi is nice, also small and diverse. Some of my favorite things are the Buddhist statues which I think are very unusual. As it turns out they are made in part of lacquer. The statues are unlike anything I have seen before in Thailand, Hong Kong or India and Nepal.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009 − Vietnamese Coffee

Sometimes when I roam the streets, where ever I am, I have magical experiences. Well, perhaps I exaggerate but I do have loads of fun exploring. When I returned to New York City, after being away a year, I would go to free nights at the museums, alone, then window shop at the exclusive stores on Madison Avenue while eating black and white cookies and drinking bodega coffee (oh how my heart aches already.) Well, on this particular day in Hanoi, I ended up wander around West Lake. Saw people fishing. Saw greenery. Stumbled upon a few temples. That particular day, the truly special thing was the coffee. I love the Vietnamese coffee. It is so rich that it's almost chocolaty. Add some sweetened condensed milk and you have ambrosia.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 − Stupid

I had two interviews today which turned out to be quite far from my house. So, after much back and forth about distance and money. The motorcycle taxi guy and I agreed on 120,000VND roundtrip, which is about $7. It was very far but not in the place I had thought so after my morning appointment it seemed easier to just have him take me to my second appointment which was at 1pm. I would eat something and sit around for awhile. We seemed in agreement. He would pick me up at 14:00 as he wrote with his finger on his hand. Very good. I went to my meeting. Went to the designated meeting point. And I thought I saw him a bit away. So, I waved at him. Happy about the perfect timing. Well, he seems different, a bit aggressive, and I think he has been drinking. Would not be my first experience with a drunken Xe Om driver. We were off. He isn't driving as well. Seems to be very distracted. He takes me to the Old Quarter which could be on my way home. Don't really know why we are stopping. He speaks to me in Vietnamese but I don't know what he is saying, of course. I am so confused. Finally I say home, in Vietnamese, and the neighborhood I live in. So, he seems to get it. He is asking people how to get there which really freaks me out because my motorcycle taxi guy is my neighbor, I thought. Finally we get close enough to my home and I give up, get off and give him 200,000VND about $11. I am surprised that he doesn't argue with me more because all in all it was a very long trip and day. Disgusted with strange stupid drunken man I just go home. Well, hours later, my roommate, whom I rarely see, comes and says there is someone who is there to see me. Ok, so it’s 8 at night, dark, who is it? I think maybe it's someone I knew from 2007. I step outside and it's this old Vietnamese man. And he starts to speak, of course I have no idea what he is talking about. My roommate translates that he went to pick me up at 2pm and where was I. HOLYSHIT. The light bulb goes on. I got a ride home with the wrong driver. I am so stupid. Thankfully, the Vietnamese don't have one of those you-think-we-all-look-alike syndromes, but maybe they will now. Well, in my defense, mostly I just saw the back of his head, err helmet actually. No one seems as amused as me. He wasn't saying, you stupid bitch, where is my money. He seems solely upset that I wasn't there. Not that that wasn't bad but really, he should've been there with his hand out. Anyway, I went to get my money and ask how much. He says 170,000VND, hmmm... not bad considering all the distance he and I travelled. So I gave him 250,000VND, about $14 for being such an idiot. He was happy and I repaired my guilt, but not my stupid and humiliated ego.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 − This How It Happens

This is how it happens. I set off in the morning to beat the heat but essentially it's already too late. I will run a few errands near each other. Xe om to first location then walk "not too far" to second stop. It's nearby on the map. I walk some. It's hot so I stop for a cold drink, no not a beer. I get directions. I walk some more. I get directions again. I get hassled over and over by taxis and xe om drivers who sometimes pretend they will show me the direction on the map. I walk some more. I finish my water. I stop in at a hotel I could never afford to stay in. I use their bathroom and soak up their air conditioning. Refreshed, I set off again. More walking. Errand complete. Dehydrated, hungry and crabby. Cannot eat street food, too too hot. End up at mall eating western food. This is how it happens.

Friday, June 12, 2009 − Loneliness

I am a little reluctant to write this for fear that I am not sending the right message but I feel that this is totally a part of travel, particularly if you are a 43 year old solo woman who isn't into partying. Also, I am trying to help those of you who are living vicariously through me to get the real feeling of living here. Oh, my glamorous life as an economic refuge. There was a whirlwind of meeting people when I first arrived. Ok, perhaps whirlwind is a bit too dramatic, and way exaggerated, but I made contact with people but that has petered out. One reason is that I have arrived at the start of the hot season and everyone is fleeing. Either they are long term residents taking a few months leave or they are shorter term residents who have decided this is a good season to leave. So already, I know at least 4 people who have or are leaving soon. I have met some fabulous 20 somethings but let's face it, there is no long term friendship there, really just a tolerance. I did meet one man about my age but it turned out that his "friends" were bargirls. The long term residents, not even my housemates, are into befriending the outsiders, short timers. People are cordial, even friendly but they will never invite you anywhere, perhaps this is a hazing period, or just self preservation on their part. Whatever it is, I am alone. My coworkers at the English school are either old bitter alcoholic hasbeens or young partiers passing through, hoping to earn some cash before traveling on. This is a real transition time in Hanoi. I understand that but when I enter the weekend realizing that I have not one single social plan, I feel lonely. I know that sitting home will not help so I will go to the expat cinema but my lonely desperation (isn't that lyrics somewhere) makes me freeze up like a deer in headlights (now that has to be lyrics). I just have to put my Buddhist practice into practice and accept what is, and know that it is impermanent.

Thursday, June 18, 2009 − Dealing with the Asian Dogs

My fear of the dark has been replaced by an almost paralyzing fear of dogs. The dogs here aren't like fiddo at home. The fight dogs in Thailand and India used to keep me awake at night. There are tons of "pet" dogs roaming the streets. The worst of course are the ones just out sit of their own homes. I have struggled with how to deal with them. A Thai friend told me to ignore them and just keep walking. Another friend told me to pick up a stone and through it at them, or even just reach pretend you have one works too. At one point, a friend had a pack of 5 puppies that I watched grow. Gosh they were cute and rancorous. One day as we were sitting outside, I wanted to play with those little devils so I playfully ran at the puppy as if in a game of tag or something. What would a dog in the US do? It would run away and circle around and bark at you in a fun game. What did this puppy in Thailand do? It went squealing away as if I had beaten it with a stick. I felt terrible; I suppose the dog did too. I am guessing a game of fetch might have ended in a similar way. I am not exactly sure when this fear arouse. At one point, a scary mangy crosseyed dog nearly attacked me in Thailand. We were in a stand off and then he charged. I was freaking out until a man came up and chased it away. Actually, freaking out would’ve been a good thing; screaming and waving my arms would've scared him off. In the US, screaming and waving ones arms at an angry dog would've done nothing but here the dogs have much more experience with be beaten. I have a dog here in the alley where I live in which we were ending up in one of those awful standoffs. I would freeze. It would look at me, hackles would go up, and growl. I needed to get past that dog and that was the only way out. Finally I started to yell and wave my arms and the dog would go squealing away. A few days later, I ran into that dog in a more open area near the alley. It looked at me fearfully and moved away. I was surprised. I am afraid of it. It is afraid of me too? I had a better understanding of the dog's psychology. I even felt bad that this creature felt bad too. That was when I decided to handle that doggie situation differently. So I tried to just ignore it and walk past. Thankfully it worked. I have learned the standoff is the worst position to be in. The other week I went for a walk and wandered into one of the many temples. I was taking pictures through a locked door when I turned to see a dog creeping up on me. I knew it was time to leave . So given my friend's advice, I ignored it and headed to the gate. I didn't want to allow the dog to block my path. Just as I was on the threshold, the dog "attacked" me from behind. I turned and swung my camera at it and an old man called it off a moment later. My heart was pondering. For the next few days, I was totally terrified of dogs even if it gave no indication of being mean. At one point I was wandering the tiny streets looking for a friend's house and there was dog up ahead. I knew I didn't want a stand off so I waited at the end until a young guy came along. I told him I was afraid of the dog so he went ahead and blocked it with his motorbike while I continued on. His kindness was really sweet but nevertheless, my terror was rising. I am still learning but in a nutshell, this is the way to handle Asian dogs:

• Avoid the standoff at all costs. Once a standoff is established, more aggression will be needed to end it.
  
• Yell, scream, stomp your feet, wave your arms like a crazy person if you are feeling threatened.
  
• Carry a stick, umbrella or rocks to shake and throw. Pretend if you don't.
  
• Keep a wary eye on the dog at all times but don't act too interested.
  
• If the dog looks menacing, threaten with your "weapons" sooner than later.
  

Saturday, June 20, 2009 − Floating Garden

When living in high population density places, one has to be creative about space: storage space, living spaces, and open spaces. I have heard that in the Philippines there are people who have made houses that hang off a bridge. In the larger western cities, we have created rooftop gardens. I recently found this floating garden in Hanoi. Fabulous. It reminds me of something out of "Water World" in which they are trying to create terra firma on the water. It was an older couple making this and they were actively working on it while I was there. They were not thrilled with my picture taking. I wished I could speak Vietnamese because I had many questions. What did they grow.? Why were they growing it? To sell or just personal use? Where did they get the idea?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 − Vietnam in Conclusion

My visa was to expire in a few weeks. I convinced one of my schools to give me a part−time contract. A week before, my visa was to expire, the school told me I would only get a one month visa and after that they didn't know. I had to be out of my room by the end of the month, my one private student was going home for almost 2 months, one class ran only to the end of the month, and the other mid way into November. What was I fighting for? There was very little going on and lots of stuff ending. So, within a day I decided to leave, and within two, I decided to go to Nepal. It's funny how I make decisions. Sometimes, I am very logical and think things carefully through but that hasn’t really worked out so well for me, so now I just mull things over. I let a train of thought carry me to some questionable conclusion. I visited Nepal in March of 2008, just over a year and a half ago. I had hoped to open an artist residency program there but that project has been put on the back burner for economic reasons. When I was in Nepal, I met a young woman who was volunteering at a children's home called Umbrella. I visited. It seemed good. You paid room and board, $100 but in the scheme of things that's nothing. So, I sent them email, again. Back in Decemberish, I had a similar thought but they never got back to me until they told me they were expecting me the following week. Oops. Guess they forgot to let me know I could come. It was too short of notice by then and perhaps I had a different idea for that moment. So, I told them no. This time however they sent me email saying they now had an application form and room and board now cost about $250. Well, now that is starting to be real money. But in the meantime, I stumbled across a month long meditation retreat starting in November. (http://www.kopan-monastery.com) So, now I trained my sights on that. My original purpose of going to Nepal was out the window, but I was still going, but now for the retreat. Because of the flight, plus the cost of the retreat, the expense is going to be great. Had I realized that I never would have considered it. Also, if I had still been working, with visa and place to live in Hanoi, I certainly would not be going on retreat. It must be fate. My decision to go to Hanoi was a similar process; Thought occurred to me on a Friday and by Monday I was making my plans.

I realize that many of you perhaps find my life rather exotic, and I probably would too. IF I were not living it. It's a bit terrifying to leave a country with a few thousand dollars in your pocket and that’s all you got. I am a woman of modest needs but even still, I spend about $800 a month in Asia, living, not even travelling. So, that few thousand dollars will not last long. It freaks me out when I think about it.

I have been in Hanoi for almost six months. The process of getting there was fairly easy as was my life there. Now, there was the usual adjustment period which caused some angst but it is also during this time when things are really exciting. After a few months, I adjust, life there becomes normal but my interest also wanes. I am sure this is typical. The one thing that did change was that I rented a motorbike. That certainly added some spice to my life. Again, at first it caused stress but later much joy with my new found freedom. In the end, I loved driving motorbike and was sorry to leave it because I knew wherever I went, I would not be driving one again. For the most part, it was super easy to find work teaching English in Hanoi. I hadn't really looked for housing but I don't think that was an issue. There were even hotels that catered to this crowd of long term stayers. I had a group with whom I meditated. I had friends who actually called me to do things. I could even be spontaneous. Call someone on the phone (well sms/text really) and have plans for an hour later. It was my idea of a social life. One week, I even forced myself to not call anyone on my night off because I needed some alone time. It was very difficult to do, especially when you even run into friends on the streets.

I would definitely go back to Hanoi, and I might in a few months. This time I will work like a dog for a few months since I might only get a 3 month visa. Save my money so that when my visa doesn't get renewed. I am foot loose and fancy free.

I realize that many of you perhaps find my life rather exotic, and I probably would too. IF I were not living it. It’s a bit terrifying to leave a country with a few thousand dollars in your pocket and that’s all you got. I am a woman of modest needs but even still, I spend about $800 a month in Asia, living, not even travelling. So, that few thousand dollars will not last long. It freaks me out when I think about it.

I have been in Hanoi for almost six months. The process of getting there was fairly easy as was my life there. Now, there was the usual adjustment period which caused some angst but it is also during this time when things are really exciting. After a few months, I adjust, life there becomes normal but my interest also wanes. I am sure this is typical. The one thing that did change was that I rented a motorbike. That certainly added some spice to my life. Again, at first it caused stress but later much joy with my new found freedom. In the end, I loved driving motorbike and was sorry to leave it because I knew wherever I went, I would not be driving one again. For the most part, it was super easy to find work teaching English in Hanoi. I hadn’t really looked for housing but I don’t think that was an issue. There were even hotels that catered to this crowd of long term stayers. I had a group with whom I meditated. I had friends who actually called me to do things. I could even be spontaneous. Call someone on the phone (well sms/text really) and have plans for an hour later. It was my idea of a social life. One week, I even forced myself to not call anyone on my night off because I needed some alone time. It was very difficult to do, especially when you even run into friends on the streets.

I would definitely go back to Hanoi, and I might in a few months. This time I will work like a dog for a few months since I might only get a 3 month visa. Save my money so that when my visa doesn’t get renewed. I am foot loose and fancy free.