Saturday, June 20, 2009 − Floating Garden

When living in high population density places, one has to be creative about space: storage space, living spaces, and open spaces. I have heard that in the Philippines there are people who have made houses that hang off a bridge. In the larger western cities, we have created rooftop gardens. I recently found this floating garden in Hanoi. Fabulous. It reminds me of something out of "Water World" in which they are trying to create terra firma on the water. It was an older couple making this and they were actively working on it while I was there. They were not thrilled with my picture taking. I wished I could speak Vietnamese because I had many questions. What did they grow.? Why were they growing it? To sell or just personal use? Where did they get the idea?

Thursday, June 18, 2009 − Dealing with the Asian Dogs

My fear of the dark has been replaced by an almost paralyzing fear of dogs. The dogs here aren't like fiddo at home. The fight dogs in Thailand and India used to keep me awake at night. There are tons of "pet" dogs roaming the streets. The worst of course are the ones just out sit of their own homes. I have struggled with how to deal with them. A Thai friend told me to ignore them and just keep walking. Another friend told me to pick up a stone and through it at them, or even just reach pretend you have one works too. At one point, a friend had a pack of 5 puppies that I watched grow. Gosh they were cute and rancorous. One day as we were sitting outside, I wanted to play with those little devils so I playfully ran at the puppy as if in a game of tag or something. What would a dog in the US do? It would run away and circle around and bark at you in a fun game. What did this puppy in Thailand do? It went squealing away as if I had beaten it with a stick. I felt terrible; I suppose the dog did too. I am guessing a game of fetch might have ended in a similar way. I am not exactly sure when this fear arouse. At one point, a scary mangy crosseyed dog nearly attacked me in Thailand. We were in a stand off and then he charged. I was freaking out until a man came up and chased it away. Actually, freaking out would’ve been a good thing; screaming and waving my arms would've scared him off. In the US, screaming and waving ones arms at an angry dog would've done nothing but here the dogs have much more experience with be beaten. I have a dog here in the alley where I live in which we were ending up in one of those awful standoffs. I would freeze. It would look at me, hackles would go up, and growl. I needed to get past that dog and that was the only way out. Finally I started to yell and wave my arms and the dog would go squealing away. A few days later, I ran into that dog in a more open area near the alley. It looked at me fearfully and moved away. I was surprised. I am afraid of it. It is afraid of me too? I had a better understanding of the dog's psychology. I even felt bad that this creature felt bad too. That was when I decided to handle that doggie situation differently. So I tried to just ignore it and walk past. Thankfully it worked. I have learned the standoff is the worst position to be in. The other week I went for a walk and wandered into one of the many temples. I was taking pictures through a locked door when I turned to see a dog creeping up on me. I knew it was time to leave . So given my friend's advice, I ignored it and headed to the gate. I didn't want to allow the dog to block my path. Just as I was on the threshold, the dog "attacked" me from behind. I turned and swung my camera at it and an old man called it off a moment later. My heart was pondering. For the next few days, I was totally terrified of dogs even if it gave no indication of being mean. At one point I was wandering the tiny streets looking for a friend's house and there was dog up ahead. I knew I didn't want a stand off so I waited at the end until a young guy came along. I told him I was afraid of the dog so he went ahead and blocked it with his motorbike while I continued on. His kindness was really sweet but nevertheless, my terror was rising. I am still learning but in a nutshell, this is the way to handle Asian dogs:

• Avoid the standoff at all costs. Once a standoff is established, more aggression will be needed to end it.
  
• Yell, scream, stomp your feet, wave your arms like a crazy person if you are feeling threatened.
  
• Carry a stick, umbrella or rocks to shake and throw. Pretend if you don't.
  
• Keep a wary eye on the dog at all times but don't act too interested.
  
• If the dog looks menacing, threaten with your "weapons" sooner than later.
  

Friday, June 12, 2009 − Loneliness

I am a little reluctant to write this for fear that I am not sending the right message but I feel that this is totally a part of travel, particularly if you are a 43 year old solo woman who isn't into partying. Also, I am trying to help those of you who are living vicariously through me to get the real feeling of living here. Oh, my glamorous life as an economic refuge. There was a whirlwind of meeting people when I first arrived. Ok, perhaps whirlwind is a bit too dramatic, and way exaggerated, but I made contact with people but that has petered out. One reason is that I have arrived at the start of the hot season and everyone is fleeing. Either they are long term residents taking a few months leave or they are shorter term residents who have decided this is a good season to leave. So already, I know at least 4 people who have or are leaving soon. I have met some fabulous 20 somethings but let's face it, there is no long term friendship there, really just a tolerance. I did meet one man about my age but it turned out that his "friends" were bargirls. The long term residents, not even my housemates, are into befriending the outsiders, short timers. People are cordial, even friendly but they will never invite you anywhere, perhaps this is a hazing period, or just self preservation on their part. Whatever it is, I am alone. My coworkers at the English school are either old bitter alcoholic hasbeens or young partiers passing through, hoping to earn some cash before traveling on. This is a real transition time in Hanoi. I understand that but when I enter the weekend realizing that I have not one single social plan, I feel lonely. I know that sitting home will not help so I will go to the expat cinema but my lonely desperation (isn't that lyrics somewhere) makes me freeze up like a deer in headlights (now that has to be lyrics). I just have to put my Buddhist practice into practice and accept what is, and know that it is impermanent.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 − This How It Happens

This is how it happens. I set off in the morning to beat the heat but essentially it's already too late. I will run a few errands near each other. Xe om to first location then walk "not too far" to second stop. It's nearby on the map. I walk some. It's hot so I stop for a cold drink, no not a beer. I get directions. I walk some more. I get directions again. I get hassled over and over by taxis and xe om drivers who sometimes pretend they will show me the direction on the map. I walk some more. I finish my water. I stop in at a hotel I could never afford to stay in. I use their bathroom and soak up their air conditioning. Refreshed, I set off again. More walking. Errand complete. Dehydrated, hungry and crabby. Cannot eat street food, too too hot. End up at mall eating western food. This is how it happens.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 − Stupid

I had two interviews today which turned out to be quite far from my house. So, after much back and forth about distance and money. The motorcycle taxi guy and I agreed on 120,000VND roundtrip, which is about $7. It was very far but not in the place I had thought so after my morning appointment it seemed easier to just have him take me to my second appointment which was at 1pm. I would eat something and sit around for awhile. We seemed in agreement. He would pick me up at 14:00 as he wrote with his finger on his hand. Very good. I went to my meeting. Went to the designated meeting point. And I thought I saw him a bit away. So, I waved at him. Happy about the perfect timing. Well, he seems different, a bit aggressive, and I think he has been drinking. Would not be my first experience with a drunken Xe Om driver. We were off. He isn't driving as well. Seems to be very distracted. He takes me to the Old Quarter which could be on my way home. Don't really know why we are stopping. He speaks to me in Vietnamese but I don't know what he is saying, of course. I am so confused. Finally I say home, in Vietnamese, and the neighborhood I live in. So, he seems to get it. He is asking people how to get there which really freaks me out because my motorcycle taxi guy is my neighbor, I thought. Finally we get close enough to my home and I give up, get off and give him 200,000VND about $11. I am surprised that he doesn't argue with me more because all in all it was a very long trip and day. Disgusted with strange stupid drunken man I just go home. Well, hours later, my roommate, whom I rarely see, comes and says there is someone who is there to see me. Ok, so it’s 8 at night, dark, who is it? I think maybe it's someone I knew from 2007. I step outside and it's this old Vietnamese man. And he starts to speak, of course I have no idea what he is talking about. My roommate translates that he went to pick me up at 2pm and where was I. HOLYSHIT. The light bulb goes on. I got a ride home with the wrong driver. I am so stupid. Thankfully, the Vietnamese don't have one of those you-think-we-all-look-alike syndromes, but maybe they will now. Well, in my defense, mostly I just saw the back of his head, err helmet actually. No one seems as amused as me. He wasn't saying, you stupid bitch, where is my money. He seems solely upset that I wasn't there. Not that that wasn't bad but really, he should've been there with his hand out. Anyway, I went to get my money and ask how much. He says 170,000VND, hmmm... not bad considering all the distance he and I travelled. So I gave him 250,000VND, about $14 for being such an idiot. He was happy and I repaired my guilt, but not my stupid and humiliated ego.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009 − Vietnamese Coffee

Sometimes when I roam the streets, where ever I am, I have magical experiences. Well, perhaps I exaggerate but I do have loads of fun exploring. When I returned to New York City, after being away a year, I would go to free nights at the museums, alone, then window shop at the exclusive stores on Madison Avenue while eating black and white cookies and drinking bodega coffee (oh how my heart aches already.) Well, on this particular day in Hanoi, I ended up wander around West Lake. Saw people fishing. Saw greenery. Stumbled upon a few temples. That particular day, the truly special thing was the coffee. I love the Vietnamese coffee. It is so rich that it's almost chocolaty. Add some sweetened condensed milk and you have ambrosia.

Friday, May 8, 2009 − Vietnamese Buddha

The art museum here in Hanoi is nice, also small and diverse. Some of my favorite things are the Buddhist statues which I think are very unusual. As it turns out they are made in part of lacquer. The statues are unlike anything I have seen before in Thailand, Hong Kong or India and Nepal.

Thursday, May 7, 2009 − Hoa Qua Dam

Have I mentioned that I really like Vietnamese food? One of my favorites is the fruit salad type thing called Hoa Qua Dam, chunks of tropical fruits with shaved ice, and coconut milk. Yummy, and a perfect hot weather food. There is even a street in the Old Quarter that has many of these shops that serve it exclusively. I went back to my favorite spot but as I sat there I didn't recognize the workers. In fact, they were really young and looked like prisoners of war. What is going on with that? Many of retail-y type places hire young people but like early 20s/late teens and often it seems like an extended family. These boys seemed wrong and very unhappy. So, next time I went to another place but you know it just wasn't as good.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 − Deodorant

You are not going to believe this but my last deodorant lasted more than 2 years which included living in Asia for 18 months. So, when I was preparing to come back I brought only a small travel size. I thought about buying an extra one, specifically an unscented because I thought it might be hard to find that but I didn't because I didn't want to be crazy over-preparer like last time. Of course the first day here, my deodorant fell off the container part. So, I went to get a new one. I figured I would have to go to an upscale type store but what I didn't know was that there are only 2 brands, it's a tiny bit expensive, and hard to find and sometimes even locked in cases. Don't worry people, I got some. This is exactly the type of thing that could drive you crazy when living in abroad: the unpredictability of what you can and cannot get.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009 − Transportation Reality

The reality of living in a foreign country is finally hitting home, in a big bad way. I am trying to determine my mode of transportation. I could buy a bike, or rent a scooter, or use the buses, or use taxis and Xe Oms, motorcycle taxis. I know ultimately I will end up with a combination but what should my primary transportation be? And the logistics are quite overwhelming when one can only say hello, please and thank you. Bicycles are cheap and convenient. People are used to bikes in traffic however 90% of vehicles on the road are scooters and dare I say that they are terrible scooter drivers. They just don't have the fundamentals of road rules. It's not like they know the rules and choose to break them, like in India. That is fine with me because at least then they are watching themselves. But here they just don't understand the basics like if everyone in Florida was driving scooters. Let me give you an example, I am walking across the street. My direction is clear. So I walk. Stopping when there is not enough space to continue forward, and like a good game of frogger, I occasionally have to step back a bit. I come to a point in which there is plenty of space for the next scooter to move around me so I continue but instead of speeding behind me, they clip me off in front. It just doesn't make any sense. It’s like these people have never been forced to take a driver's education in High School. (Total sarcasm – of course they have never taken driver's education.) Anyway, back to my original point which is I am trying to decide my mode of transportation. As just determined, the roads here are chaos and very dangerous for scooters. In college I had a moped which I loved and in Thailand I had been known to occasionally drive a scooter but the expat community is filled with accident stories. Of course I can ride the bus which is actually a good system but still it's the bus, slow and crowded, with people barfing. Taxis are not super cheap so it would probably cost me $5-10 a day. Xe oms are about half the price but then again I am on a scooter, in scooter traffic, the only difference between having my own and using a xe om is that they are presumably more experienced drivers. By the way, I have located 2 of my 3 favorite Xe Om drivers. What fun. Instant boyfriends. One of them however, the one already on my blog from before is looking a bit crappy and smelling a bit boozy. See August 1st entry on http://www.kkoller.com/weblog/CatVietnamIndex.htm So, regardless of which mode of transportation I select, there are logistic problems, most of which stem from the problem that I don't speak the language but also things like where do I get gas and park the thing.